Most common and the funniest jokes of Great Britain

Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.
mother, “Mummy, today in school I was punished for something that
I didn’t do.”
to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was
it that you didn’t do?”
indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with
the differences between boys and girls,” and would his mother
“…please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.”
bedroom, and closes the door.
unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

Man: No, it can't be for me, my name is Smith.


Old Lady: Do you always play by ear?
Street Musician: Yes, lady, 'ere or 'ereabouts.

One day little Jenny came home from school, and said to her

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible Jenny dear! I’m going

Little Jenny replied, “My homework.

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher,
So, Johnny’s mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her
“First Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse…” So he
“OK, now take off my skirt…” And he takes off her skirt.
“Now, take off my bra…” Which he does.
“And now, Johnny, please take off my panties…”
And when Johnny finishes removing these, she says,
“Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!


English Captain: Did you came here today???


American Soldier: No I came here yesterday!


I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like" – Pippa Evans


"I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward" – Tom Stade


The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" – Stephen Brown


"The anti-aging advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, 'Aah, I've used too much'" – Andrew Bird
How do you get rid ofcockroaches?Tell them you want along-term relationship